oh bother.

Monday, February 7, 2011

i never thought my life would be like this. full of so much uncertainty and confusion. i never thought i'd be a college grad that is basically unemployed (i work very part time hours- that i am NOT complaining about, its something!) i never thought that being an adult came with this having so many ups and downs. that's something they don't teach you in school.

i never believed that its all in who you know. i always assumed that hard work, dedication, and perseverance would hook me up with a stellar paycheck, but i've been so wrong. did i choose the wrong major? should i have studied something i hated that would get me a job instead of doing something that i think im good at and enjoy? it seems like i can't even remember the last time i did anything that i was proud of that i was compensated for. i write for free. i work for almost free.sure a pat on the back is nice, but so are a pair of new shoes. or a hair cut. or .. well you get the picture.
(via weheartit)

i meet people all the time. no one can help. or no one wants to help.every time an opportunity arises i get so amped up. maybe this is MY time. so and so just got promoted, so and so just got a new job, and so and so just got a new job too. WHERE IS MY TIME? haven't i been patient enough? im smart, quick on my feet, and can do just about anything. but no one is giving me a chance. and it sucks. i can't get hired at Target (they have turned me down more than once) and i can't get hired at a "real" job because i don't have enough experience BECAUSE NO ONE WILL HIRE ME TO GET EXPERIENCE. i've applied for over 400 jobs in the last year and a half. guess how many interviews i've been on. 3. THREE. are you kidding me?! its a sick, vicious circle. will i ever escape?

and i know in my heart i would rather do something that i love and barely get by than to do something i hate and have money in the bank. i just feel that im wasting my time, my youth, and my nerves. i should be out being dumb and spending my money on clothes, and vacations, and alcohol. but im not. i can't. and i hate it.

am i the only one?

4 comments:

  1. My heart breaks for you. This is SO common. I know so many people who are in your exact shoes. I really hope you find something full time soon!

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  2. I know how you feel. For a while I really thought I would NEVER find a design job. Just keep you head up, and shake as many hands as possible. Have you contacted Jennifer Burggraaf?

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  3. Hey Angelica!! I haven't caught up on your blog in a while. Girl I know exactly how you feel, I wonder daily if I wasted my time majoring in fashion. I have bounced all over the place and have no "real" job experience. Your post hit the nail on the head about how I've felt since graduation and my break-up. I hope things start looking up for you, you're awesome at what you do so don't give up!

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  4. We are in the same boat my friend, just I'm in Chicago where 400 resumes gets you 2 interviews and 10 "informational interviews." (which I THOUGHT was code for see-me-now-hire-me-later, though that hasn't worked out so well)

    We should swap cover letters. I have some ideas that might help and I'm sure you are the queen of the cover letter at this point. :)

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