On Shitty Friendships: Ain't Nobody Got Time for That.

Friday, March 14, 2014

(woo! a non-baby related post! haha)**
 In the last few months, well in the last year, i've done a lot of growing up. I think that moving half way across the US will do that to someone. It gives you some perspective to stand back and really evaluate your friendships. 
  I'm lucky to have a really great core group of friends. the ones that are genuinely happy for you when something great happens, and the ones that are by your side when the shit hits the fan. some may be near, and a lot of them may be far, but it's those real friends that have kept my faith in friendships alive. some of those friends i've known for years, and some not as long, but in the time i've known these people, i've really come to value their opinions, advice, prayers, and companionship. these friends are the ones you don't have to see or talk to everyday, but as soon as you see them or talk to them, its like time never passed and you pick up right where you left off. these are the people you keep in your life.
then there are the acquaintances. I think these come in two groups.  there are the ones who you let into your life, but never really earn their spots in the core group. you keep in touch on facebook and instagram. you see each other out and about. you get invited to their weddings and out to dinner. you let them into your life. your home. I think some family even fall into this category (immediate & extended depending on your relationships with them).
Then there are the ones who you think you know. you may see them out, but almost avoid them if possible. its not a real friendship. its one of those for looks things.
for what seems to me, the first kind of acquaintances, life and your friendship can become a competition. instead of nurturing your friendship, they spend more time competing with them. in times when you should be supporting each other, it becomes a battle. and silence. silence is the betrayal of any friendship. its the worst.
im at a point in my life where I can choose who I keep in my life. I have a family now. I don't have time for drama. i've been the bigger person. extended olive branches. held my tongue. in the last month or so, i've see it all. the highest of the highs, and the absolute lowest of the lows. i've seen our real friends open their hearts and genuinely be happy and supportive of us, and i've seen our "friends" hide and avoid the situations at hand. it's both heartwarming and pathetic all at the same time.
im done putting any effort in with the pretenders. ain't nobody got time for that.
moving on.
**I wrote this post about 2 weeks ago after a really, really bad day. little did i know that while all this was going on a "friend" of mine had a personal vendetta against me (for no concrete reason) and wrote a nasty post about me. the only reason I figured out it was pointed directly at me was because she and her husband deleted me off of fb, twitter, instagram, etc. (how adult like, huh?) I'm assuming she thinks anything I've written about in the last 10 months has been aimed at her because apparently she's the only other person I know that has been pregnant lately. Well she wasn't and 99.9& of what i was venting about had nothing to do with her and anything she took personally was because she needed something in her life to create drama. She must really be bored, huh?

Either I've been completely oblivious to all of this or I've inadvertently created this 'issue' all on my own, but if she were truly a friend, she would have said something to me instead of blasting me on her blog. In fact, I don't remember the last time I commented on something she blogged about, nor do I "argue" with anything she says. Opinions, yes i have them. Dreft does smell like baby prostitutes.. that's my opinion and if you don't like it, so be it. I guess I'm supposed to apologize for getting pregnant at the same time so all the attention wasn't on her? I don't know anymore. We live in different states and don't have many mutual friends. At this point I could care less, but I am offended and annoyed that a Christian woman would be such bitch.. oh wait. Yeah I did.

Just goes to show you that people who never widen their circles can't see past the tip of their nose.**
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  1. I so appreciate this post -- you are so right when you say that you've come to a point where you can choose who you keep in your life. I feel like pregnancy and motherhood especially really help you to evaluate your friendships and rid yourself of toxic friends. Frankly, you just don't have the time or energy to deal with the crap anymore. People can be so immature, and you just reach a point where there are more important things than their behavior and what they think. Some of the people I'm closest to are people that I have become friends with since having Caroline, primarily due to the fact that you really find out who your true friends are when you need help.

    Anyway, love your perspective and hope you and that sweet little guy are doing well!


    1. Thanks Amy!! I so agree that I just don't have the energy to deal with stupid crap anymore! And toxic is a great way to describe 'those' people!

      And I hope Caroline likes younger men.. you can put Beckett on her list of potential suitors for the future! She is such a doll!! ;) xoxo


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